At The Height Of Something
by Invader Johnny
Summary: Zim and Gaz are known to be stubborn, that's no mystery, neither of them will back down even on the most mundane of things... In this case... Who is the taller of the two?


_**Story: At The Height Of Something.**_

 _ **Writer: Invader Johnny.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: We all know that Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, I don't own squat!**_

 _ **Plot: Zim and Gaz are known to be stubborn, that's no mystery, neither of them will back down even on the most mundane of things... In this case... Who is the taller of the two?**_

 _ **Author Notes: Well I been missing the IZ fandom for a while, so I decided to write something, in this case a ZAGR, revolving about the Irkens most important part of their culture, who is taller and while in the show itself, it's pretty clear that Zim is taller than Gaz, we all know eventually she would grow in height and that's something Zim's HUGE ego just isn't able to stand.**_

 _ **And THAT is how the fic was born! So gimme constructive criticism as always, since I'm a bit rusty with the characters and above all, enjoy!**_

* * *

As soon as the computer finished to measure the two individuals in the lab, they walked away from the wall, one with unmeasurable glee while the other with a raised eyebrow.

" _ **HA**_! Look at this Little Gaz, _I_ win."

"You're a moron; you _**cheated,**_ _I_ obviously won."

"The only _obvious_ thing here is that I win, and how exactly did I cheat, Earth girl?"

Gaz pointed at his shoes, smugness in her voice "Well last time I check, someone who is tall _wouldn't_ be standing on his tippy toes"

 _ **"YOU LIE!"**_ The Irken shouted, only to lose his balance and hit the ground with his face _ **"OW!"**_

"Whiner" She sneered "Just deal with it, pip-squeak! I **_am_** taller than you."

Zim growled, looking at his human mate with intense loathing and jealousy, she hit a sore spot since he hated that Earth term to death, this wasn't just an argument about who was taller, they both knew that it was about pride.

So it was very serious argument.

"You haven't been taller than me since we met!" Zim growled "I am an Irken Invader and as such I am more superior than any insignificant human!"

"Well this _insignificant_ human" She said while pointing at herself "Kicked your sorry green ass while not even trying"

"Name one time!" He bellowed "I dare you!"

"Ok, when you kidnapped my stupid brother to your space station, I sent you flying away"

 ** _"THE SUN WAS IN MY EYES!"_**

"Uh huh, sure" She said sarcastically "Then how about the time I beat you while you were trying to turn Dib into a drooling moron?"

"The controls weren't working!"

"Ok then smart guy, then maybe you can explain to me how I was able to to destroy a town with just a can of exploding beans while _you_ , who has powerful technology beyond anything else on this planet hasn't so much as conquered a mailbox?"

 _"Uhhh"_

"Face it Zim, you suck at invading, but that's not the thing that riled you up the most is it? After all, every Invader has a different method of conquest, the big picture here is that it annoys the hell out of you that your girlfriend i.e **_ME_** , has to be the one who leans down when we kiss!"

Soon they were standing toe-to-toe, eye level with each other.

"You Earth females wear high heels!" He countered. They add, like, four inches!"

"Are you _blind_!" Gaz snapped "I never worn a pair of high heels in my life! Just admit that I am taller than you!"

 _ **"NEVER!"**_

She punched him in the face "Don't scream so loud you idiot, I'm in front of you!"

"Oh my face! My superior face!"

Gaz sighed in disgust _"Of all the aliens in the universe why did I have to fall for such a raving lunatic?"_

"How about we mark each other's heights on the wall again?"

The Goth girl contemplated for a minute. "Fine, but it will be the last time you hear!"

"Prepare to lose Gaz-Beast!"

"You just _want_ to lose your teeth today don't you?"

Zim and Gaz made their way into the wall of the underground lab for the 100th time in a row, the computer yet again put the green screen, a height chart appearing behind the duo, only this time Gaz refused to stand in front of it "Oh no, not again"

"Eh?"

The purple headed girl took a sharpie from her side pocket. "Your computer has been messing with the chart to make you see short, at first it was amusing, now it's just sad"

The alien slacked jawed, he soon turned to the ceiling " _ **COMPUTER**_! Why did you betray Zim!"

"Because I hate you" The A.I answered back "A lot actually... In fact, if you were a bug I'd squish you"

Grumbling under his breath, Zim walked towards the wall, Once again they both took off their shoes and socks/tights, throwing them in a pile on the floor.

"Take your hair down too," He added.

"Why?"

"It adds height."

She rolled her eyes but did as he asked, lowering her ponytail "Ok now _you_ take off that wig!"

"As if that's going to help him gain a few inches"

"yeah as if that's... _**HEY**_!"

"MiniMoose!"

"Squeak!"

Gaz handed him the sharpie "You are going to draw the line on top of out heads, understand?"

"Squeak!"

"Good!" She said approvingly, then she faced her alien boyfriend "Are you ready?" her back against the kitchen wall.

"Yup." He walked up to her, then the floating purple moose drew a line on the wall at the top of his master's head.

"My turn," she growled "But for the record, whoever wins, there will be no argument, so in other words _shut up_!"

Zim took his red eyes from her lips and nodded, moving back. They switched places and, now with the sharpie, MiniMoose marked her height.

She noticed who was taller.

Looking back at him, she found him staring at her.

Sam suddenly found herself turned around, her back up against the 'measurement wall.' Zim's hands ran through her long purple hair, his lips on hers.

He kissed her hungrily, his lips pounding against hers, though she met him with equal force and passion.

His eyes opened for a second and he glanced upward towards the wall, smirking.

"I told you." he chuckled victoriously "Zim is never wrong!"

The pale girl inwardly groaned _"Great, I don't know what's worse, his whining or his gloating"_

What neither of the lovers knew was that MiniMoose who was tired of this mantra took deciding action and put his master's line a few inches above his actual height.

After all he could be a sore loser, but also a very obnoxious winner.

He also took a very big rish, since the brave moose also knew that Gaz was a vengeful loser.

A very _**scary**_ , vengeful loser.

"Squeak"

* * *

 ** _Just so you all know, MiniMoose said "Mommy" in fear, hoping that he never gets caught.  
_**

 ** _So, what do you all think of this story and my triumphant return to the IZ fandom?_**

 ** _I forgotten how much fun it is to have Zim and Gaz having their own lovers quarrel of doom!_**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


End file.
